For Gina K.
Dear Reader,
I am deeply honored that the first series of emails on Soul GPS takes place between me and Gina K., a remarkable lady.
Gina has now passed.
Her spirit lives on and inspires.
When you read, I think you will agree.
Thank you Gina.
Noah
—– Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
To: Noah
Sent: Saturday, July 25, 2009 10:38 AM
Subject: What matters most
Dear Noah,
My name is Gina K., and I was diagnosed with ALS in April ’08. I am a recently retired attorney, age 57, living in San Francisco. My sister, Barbara, lives with me as my caretaker, and we live in a beautiful condo overlooking the waves of Ocean Beach.
ALS has attacked my lungs, and to a lesser extent, my upper and lower body strength. The good part is that I can still talk, eat, and take care of most of my personal needs. The bad part is that I can no longer enjoy the rich, full, exciting life that existed before, and I have become a spectator in the sport of life. My family is loving and supportive, thought they do have their limits. All in all, I am very fortunate.
I do not expect this first connection with you to result in any significant contribution to your website, or to its positive influence. Frankly, I am feeling a bit lost, and more than a bit overwhelmed. I do, however, believe I can and should contribute something to the greater understanding of this terrible illness. It is all too easy to wallow in sadness and self-pity, but I have been blessed with an incredible life, and believe there is still more I can offer.
I have had four separate trips out of the country since my diagnosis, and learned valuable lessons each time. I would be pleased to share the good, bad, and ugly off those trips, if you would find the information useful. I am also expecting my first grandchild at the end of August. I have never experienced such a mixture of joy and anguish at the same time. Although I have shared several great romances, and more love than any human should expect, I am currently without a partner. The lack of such a deep, personal connection at this time is a source of profound regret.
What motivated me most to connect with you is that I still need to contribute something important to the world. In healthier times, I had no shortage of ideas about how to do that, but things have changed.
Please forgive the rambling nature of this email. I appreciate the work you do, and I admire your choice to reach out to the ALS community. Bless you!
Sincerely,
Gina K.
—– Original Message —–
From: Noah
To: Gina K.
Sent: Sunday, July 26, 2009 10:20 AM
Subject: Noah benShea, this matters…Fw: What matters most
Hello Gina,
Touched and honored to get your note.
Please do send me your thinking.
I may post it on my website for people to access and gain from and/or send it along to the National organization to have as a resource.
I wish I had more than words to send your way.
And yet, your words have their own strength and veracity.
And by reading your note I can see your capacity for candor and communication.
No small matter.
If I may, I send a hug.
Noah
Noah benShea
www.NoahbenShea.com
—– Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
To: Noah
Sent: Friday, August 07, 2009 6:56 AM
Subject: Some of my thoughts, for your consideration
Hello Noah,
Thank you for your recent email, and for your kind words.
Per your encouragement, I have attached the beginnings of my journal, and some news from my first post-diagnosis travel. Please feel free to do anything or nothing with this material, including extensive editing or cutting. But beware! If you encourage more, you will surely get it!
My typing is getting slower, so I may not write as much, but I will try to at least bring the story current. It is what I do in the wee hours of the morning when sleep eludes me.
Thank you for being there.
Sincerely,
Gina
—– Original Message —–
From: Noah
To: Gina K.
Sent: Tuesday, August 11, 2009 2:53 PM
Subject: Noah benShea…re: Some of my thoughts, for your consideration
Dear Gina,
Thanks for this and for you.
Let me live with this for a bit and decide the best way I can tie this in with others.
Have some thoughts.
Back to you.
And by the way, you’re great.
Noah
—– Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 4:33 PM
Subject: A Final Note
Dear, dear friends,
I am drafting this email while I still can, so I do not pass up the opportunity to share some important thoughts with all of you. Each of you have, to varying degrees, played a significant roll in my life. You have challenged me, enriched my existence, and contributed greatly to the complex fabric of my being. As my illness progressed, and I could sometimes do little more than think, thoughts of you kept me entertained, and smiling.
As you may have guessed, you have received this email because I have passed from this world and on to another. I had a fantastic life, richer than any I could have imagined, and I thank you all for the roll you played. I have enjoyed great travel, adventure, intellectual exercise, food, wine, laughter, and passion. Please do not fret over anything more you might have said or done, for I have no regrets. I feel honored and loved more than any human ever deserved.
I have no profound parting words. I hope I said what was important to each of you while I was alive, and the purpose of this note is only to say Good-Bye, and Thanks. It has been a fabulous ride!
My love to you all,
Gina
P.S. You can reach my son, Brian, if you need to.
I am sure he will be in touch with further details. Gk
—- Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
To: Noah
Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 4:45 PM
Subject: Fw: A Final Note
Sorry Sorry, Sorry!!! Message was supposed to be a draft, but outlook sent it out. Please disregard, and forgive me if you can. it is just me, trying too be prepared.
Love to you all, Gina
—- Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
To: Noah
Sent: Thu, 1 Oct 2009 14:50:34 – 0700
Subject: Some last thoughts
Dear Noah,
Living has become very hard.
I fall and cannot get up, breathing is a constant source of anxiety, and aside from my family, life holds few pleasures.
I have arranged to be admitted to the palliative care unit at UCSF tomorrow, and plan to say my final farewells from there, Once I made the decision, I was very much at peace, so I know it is right for me.
Thank you for your love and support. Perhaps a cure will come soon, and others will be spared.
Bless you for all you do!
Love,
Gina
—– Original Message —–
From: Noah
To: Gina K.
Sent: Thursday, October 01, 2009 3:48 PM
Subject: Noah…Re: Some last thoughts
I am here Gina.
My spirit surrounds.
If you reach out, I will answer.
And when you release, you will remain…touching lives.
Know that.
Peace in all moments.
Noah
—– Original Message —–
From: Gina K.
To: Noah
Sent: Wednesday, October 07, 2009 2:23 PM
Subject: Re: A Final Note
All,
On Monday, October 5th at 3:15 PM, my dear mother passed away. Her final moments, as with her life, were on her terms. She was surrounded by family and friends, sharing stories, laughing and crying until the very end. She will be greatly missed.
Her loving son,
B.
—– Original Message —–
From: Noah
To: Gina K.
Sent: Wednesday, October 07, 2009 3:20 PM
Subject: Noah benShea….Re: A Final Note
B.,
My prayers over you and your family.
Your mother’s spirit sings to all of us.
Her time with us a blessing.
Noah
Noah benShea